


The Hand That Feeds You

by RhymeReason



Series: After [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: 5+1 kinda, Andrew POV, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, andrew is into neil's hands, handjobs, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26609803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhymeReason/pseuds/RhymeReason
Summary: A snapshot of some of the times that Andrew noticed Neil's hands
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: After [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935790
Comments: 16
Kudos: 236





	The Hand That Feeds You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stjosten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stjosten/gifts).



> This is for Mae because I 1) got this idea from an interaction we had on twitter about Andrew +Neil's hands and 2) bc they were having a hard day  
> Enjoy!

Very few things managed to break through the haze of drugs in Andrew’s brain. He would still notice things and remember them but he wouldn’t remember to care about them or think of them beyond exactly what he was seeing in that moment. Even when he would sober up briefly, the haze was still there in his mind, making everything around him cloudy and much too funny.

The exception was Neil. Neil’s hands specifically.

Andrew first noticed his hands at that first night practice with Neil and Kevin, when Neil threw his arms out. Neil was pushing himself hard, harder than what was smart and all it did was make Andrew grimace. The man was a mess of contradictions wrapped in shitty brown box dye and old oversized shirts. His exy skill was still laughable but the way his hands wrapped around the racquet was fascinating.

Most of the other Foxes held their racquets in a chokehold, their grip the only thing stopping it from flying out of their hands as they swung. Neil held it softly, like it was precious to him, yet ready to toss it to the side if he had to run. He was able to move it smoother because of that, no hard stops or stutters in his swings. All of his power was coming from his shoulders. He played like he had everything in the world to lose. Just like Kevin.

A deep, quiet part of him found those hands attractive. 

Andrew pushed that thought away. He didn’t know a single thing about Neil. As far as he was aware, Neil Josten was the biggest threat to Kevin in the world besides Riko. He had to treat him as such, even if he had weirdly attractive hands.

But all the same, looking couldn’t hurt.

*

It had been exactly five days since Andrew got back from rehab and somehow, each day was better than the last. He was still tired and recovering but somehow, he was feeling almost...okay. It felt like he had finally woken up from a long nap.

It was strange but not unwelcome.

Neil Josten was another matter.

Andrew was still somewhat sure that he had dreamed up the newly redheaded striker. Everything about him was even more conflicting than before. The red hair served to contrast his unnaturally blue eyes and he looked even more like a startled rabbit than before. Not to mention the wounds.

Every inch of him was covered in cuts and mostly healed bruises. He explained how he got them vaguely but it didn’t explain how Neil knew how to function with them. Most people would be wincing and gasping in pain from all of the injuries on top of injuries but instead, Neil just shouldered all of the pain with a blank expression. How did a runaway know how to be in pain? Where did he learn something like that? Why?

And why did it leave Andrew’s heart feeling like it was sideways in his chest?

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Andrew turned his head to see Neil, standing behind him. Neil smiled and sat down with him, his feet hanging off the side of the roof. He held out a hand.

“Aren’t you supposed to give me the penny?” Andrew said, raising an eyebrow.

Neil rolled his eyes. “Can I just have a cigarette?”

Andrew handed his already lit one to Neil and let his eyes trail as Neil’s hand brought it up to his lips and gave the smallest of drags before just cradling it next to his face.

Neil kept his fingers curled like that and Andrew couldn’t help but look as Neil talked about something nonsensical. It would be a lie to say that Neil wasn’t attractive and Andrew wasn’t a liar. The way that Neil held the cigarette was intoxicating and disgustingly attractive. It made Andrew furious. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Neil asked, yanking Andrew back to reality.

Andrew scoffed. “No.”

“Then what are you looking at?”

“Making sure you aren’t setting your hair on fire like that.” Andrew retorted. “You can’t afford to burn your face off too.”

Neil laughed, loud and clear and Andrew forced himself to stop looking at Neil’s hands. It was a hard thing.

*

Things were different after Baltimore.

That was the understatement of a lifetime but it still rang true in Andrew’s mind. Things had changed.

Before, the things that Andrew felt for Neil were like a simmering pot. If the fire was taken away, things would cool down and go back to what they once were, no harm done and nothing really changed.

The moment Neil was gone, the pot was suddenly boiled over, no water left in the pot at all, just burn marks.

It hurt, in a way that Andrew wasn’t expecting. Neil was back, safe in Andrew’s arms but he still ached thinking abt it.

“Andrew?” Neil murmured, his eyes still closed with his face buried in Andrew’s shirt. “You okay?”

Andrew stayed silent, not knowing how to say the things he was thinking. Instead, he just covered Neil’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb along Neil’s knuckles.

They were healed according to Abby and by that logic, shouldn’t hurt but Neil still tensed when Andrew touched the scars. Andrew stopped immediately but Neil just shook his head.

“They’re ugly now.”

Andrew frowned and looked at Neil’s face. Neil had his eyes opened now and was looking back at Andrew with a sad expression. Andrew didn’t want that expression anywhere near Neil’s.

“Why do you think they’re ugly?” Andrew asked.

Neil shook his head. “They are proof that I wasn’t able to stop them.”

“No.” Andrew retorted. “They are proof that you survived. Dead men don't scar, Abram.”

Neil blinked at him. He did that whenever he was told a new fact that he needed to process. It was painfully endearing. Andrew hated it.

“Oh.” Neil looked back down at his hand where it was held and Andrew’s. He looked back up at Andrew and his mouth slid into a smirk. “You like my hands.”

Andrew shook his head and closed his eyes. “Go back to sleep Neil.”

Neil laughed and burrowed back into Andrew’s chest.

Andrew slept better that night than he had in years.

*

It had taken a long time to reach a point where Andrew was comfortable with the mere idea of Neil getting him off. Betsy told him it was understandable and Andrew knew it was but it was still frustrating because for once in his life, Andrew  _ wanted _ . He wanted to feel Neil’s around him, his hand and his mouth and maybe one day, he wanted to be inside Neil. To fuck him. 

But first he had to get used to Neil jerking him off. 

“Andrew?” Neil asked, straddling Andrew on the couch in the Columbia house. It was winter break and they were the only people in the house with Nicky with Erik in Germany, Kevin with Wymack in Palmetto and Aaron off somewhere with his cheerleader. It was just them in the quiet of the house and with all the time in the world.

“Andrew,” Neil repeated, his hand hovering over where Andrew had directed it. “Still a yes?”

Andrew double checked himself. Was he truly okay, did he really want this? He looked at Neil, at his blue eyes and scarred face, the concern and care that was etched in every wrinkle there. There was no judgement, only the last seven months worth of proof that Neil would listen to him and follow any direction Andrew gave him. 

He let his eyes trail down, down Neil’s bare chest and arms, to his hands. His hands, scarred but still as pretty as Andrew thought they were at the beginning of last year. He looked back up at Neil. “Yes”

“Okay.” With that, Neil carefully unbuttoned Andrew’s pants and pulled down both his jeans and his boxes with a gentle tug. Andrew hissed when the chill air of the house hit his hard cock. Neil glanced up at him and waited for his nod before wrapping his hand around Andrew’s dick. 

For a moment the only thing Andrew could feel was fear. He wanted this, I knew that but every single instinct in his body was telling him to run and flee. But he forced himself to take a deep breath and look at Neil. 

Neil was sitting there, a comforting weight on top of Andrew’s thighs. He was looking at Andrew carefully, his eyes taking in every part of him, from his skin to his soul. It was both a comfort and a burden but one that Andrew shouldered happily. 

Andrew let his eyes trail as his breath steadied, until they landed on Neil’s hands. 

Neil’s hands were unlike anyone else’s in the world. Andrew could feel the calluses on his palm from where he gripped his racquet. He could see the scars littering Neil’s hand. Those scars were a testament to everything Neil had survived and Andrew would never say it, but he cherished them.

As soon as that thought entered his mind, Andrew felt calm. Neil’s hands, so used to violence, would never hurt Andrew. They were Neil’s hands and for all the terror they could bring onto the world, Andrew knew that he would be safe.

Neil could destroy the world with his bare hands but still leave Andrew completely untouched. 

“Drew.” Neil said softly, his hand unmoving. “Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Andrew breathed.

Neil moved his hand with a grin and Andrew thought no more.

*

The sight Neil of sitting in a hospital bed made Andrew feel like he was on fire. 

The entire evening made Andrew angry. He’d gotten to Palmetto later than he wanted to, missing the very start of Neil’s first official game of his last year. Reynolds, Boyd and Wild all teased him for it like the assholes they were, Aaron had brought his cheerleader (which wasn’t actually that bad but it was the principle of the thing) and then, to top it all off, some rival defender thought that the best way to take down the Foxes was to rebound a ball directly off Neil’s head.

The sight of Neil, motionless on the court floor was burnt into Andrew’s mind.

After that, everything went so fast that even Andrew had a hard time remembering all of it. He remembered Abby helping Neil off the court as Wymack held Andrew back, stopping him from charging onto the court and killing the player that did it. He remembered Wymack explaining to him that Neil was going to be fine, they just had to take him to the hospital. He remembered hearing the final buzzer as the current Foxes decimated the other team in retaliation.

But the thing that made him angriest was the doctors telling him he wasn’t allowed in. All because they didn’t have a piece of paper telling the world that Neil was the most important thing in the world to him.

That, Andrew could change.

Which is how Andrew ended up sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair after he was finally allowed in the room, two rings clenched tightly in his fist.

The nurse checking on Neil’s concussion finished her examination and gave Neil a smile and a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll be back in about an hour to check on you again, alright? You still have to stay overnight for observation but you are doing just fine Mr. Josten. Like the doctor said, you might experience a heightened emotional state, that's totally normal with a head trauma like this.” She shot a look at Andrew in the corner and instead of her expression slipping, she just smiled more at him before looking back at Neil. “It looks like your friend is antsy to talk to you, so I’ll leave you to it. See you in an hour.”

“Bye” Neil said softly. He watched her go carefully, his eyes moving slower than they normally did before looking back at Andrew. “C’mere?”

Andrew stood and went to Neil’s side, grabbing him as gently but as tightly as he could manage. Neil gave a sigh and leaned against Andrew, setting his entire weight against Andrew’s chest. Andrew threaded his fingers threw Neil’s hair and reveled in the feeling of Neil being back in his arms.

Almost imperceptibly, Andrew felt his shirt start to get wet where Neil’s face was resting on it.

“Are you,” Andrew stuttered, looking at his boyfriend. “Are you crying?”

“No.” Neil said, the lie obvious in the nasal quality of his voice. He hiccupped. “Maybe.”

“Why?”

“I missed you.”

Andrew’s heart clenched. It had been weeks since Neil and him had seen each other, Andrew all the way in Chicago with his team while Neil sat in Palmetto. It was shitty and now, their weekend had been marred by a rebounded ball and a concussion.

Andrew held Neil tighter. “I missed you too.”

“Really?” Neil looked up at him, quiet tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. 

“Of course, idiot.” Andrew said, his soft tone giving away what his words wouldn’t. 

“I didn’t mean to cry.” Neil said, wiping at his tears as he attempted to lean out of Andrew’s embrace. Andrew didn’t let him.

“It’s fine.” Andrew said instead. “Nurse said that you might be more emotional. It’s a new side of you. You aren’t a pretty crier.”

That made Neil laugh and even thought it was more of a snotty snort, it still made Andrew feel lighter. “Yeah, you’re learning lots about me now. Will my new ability to cry change our relationship?”

“No, but this might.” Andrew said. He unwrapped his arms from around Neil and held out his hand, the two silver rings sitting in the middle of his palm. 

Neil looked at them and blinked slowly before dragging his stare up to Andrew. His face was still red and wet but he wasn’t crying anymore, just looking at Andrew in quiet awe. He didn’t say anything, just stared.

Andrew tamped down on the small flare of nervousness that sat in his stomach. “Yes or no, Neil?”

“Yes, Andrew, yes.” Neil said. He reached out a trembling hand and took the smaller of the rings out. He slipped it on and just stared at it on his hand. 

It was a beautiful sight. Andrew made himself take a mental picture, despite the fact that he knew he would remember it forever.

He slipped his own ring on his hand and grabbed Neil’s hand in his.

Neil, as always, was the eternal exception to every rule Andrew had ever made. He never attempted to break down Andrew’s walls, just simply gave him a pickaxe and a safe place to return to once they were gone. It was exceptional and unfathomable and before Andrew had even given himself the chance to ask if it was a good idea, he had already willingly carved out a doorway in his own walls and pulled Neil through it with him, their hands clasped together tightly. 

Andrew Minyard wasn’t a man who wondered about what-ifs. They didn’t do him any favors and were never worth the brain power. But for one moment, he let himself think of what his life might have been without it Neil at his side. 

It seemed like such a sad life to live. He couldn’t believe that he had once thought that would be his whole life.

“What are you thinking about?” Neil asked, his bright blue eyes glimmering under the hospital lights.

Andrew looked at him, looked at his fiancé and let himself give a small smile. “Just that I’m happy.”

Neil grinned. "I’m happy too.”

Andrew squeezed Neil’s hand tightly. Neil squeezed back just as hard.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr and twitter @foxeshaveclaws


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